Songwriter Paula Abdul lyrics to the Song opposites attract say, “I take--2 steps forward, You take--2 steps back, We come together because opposites attract.” Studies have shown that people are more likely to be romantically involved with people like themselves (Psychology Today). But because they are so much alike doesn't always mean they are happier. It's not odd to be so familiar with individuals so much like themselves to get bored or desire something different. When opposites attract, it is the attraction that is unlike themselves that draws them. Two people can be as different as night and day and fall head over heels for one another. To the two, there is a balance brought to them that sparks interest. Take the sweet, conservative church girl. She’s quiet, kind of shy, loves the church, and works most of the time. She doesn't have a party life. Until she meets a guy who is always on the go. The nightlife is his scene, and he's Mr. Popular. The balance for Mr. Popular is a chance to unplug from the constant party life to a more humble, spiritual, and peaceful environment with a woman who is far from being known in the clubs. She’s his innocence. For her, the balance is an opportunity to live on the edge and bring a little fun to her life. He’s her escape. As balancing as these two can be for one another, the fact remains that they are very different. It doesn't mean that people who are different from one another can’t have successful relationships. Still, it's very important to understand why you are seeking relationships in the first place. It's a fact that you can enjoy something until you get tired of it. It's important before committing to a relationship where someone is the total opposite of you to know if it would be healthy or satisfying in the long run. Let's say Mr. Popular was just tired of hanging out for that moment, but after a while, he missed his everyday fun-filled party life. Where then does the church girl fit in his future? Maybe even the church girl, if she gets tired of the nightlife or her spiritual conscience bothers her and decides that life is not for her. What happens to the relationship? Often, after so much time invested, one or the other tries to compromise therefore becoming unhappy. They try to become something they are not to please the other. This is not healthy in any relationship.
In some cases, a happy medium can be established, but in rare cases, it is not. It's vitally important to be honest and true with yourself and those you're seeking a relationship with. Maybe a committed relationship would not be the best thing, and a casual relationship or no relationship at all is best. Either way, it's important to be honest and true with each other. You can invest too much time in something that was only a phase and cause great damage. Most of the time, it is pure infatuation that has drawn the two. The fantasy of being something you are not for a season has excited you, but when the season is over, and things start to die off, this is where reality sets in. As different as the two are for a season, they can grow together until change happens. Take the beautiful rose bush that also has sharp thorns. Those two things are the total opposite, but for a season, they grow together, and something beautiful happens, but it never lasts because down the line, everything on the bush dies. Seasonal things and people are not intended to last forever. They are either a lesson or a blessing. Remember the rose bush, and if you move in too quickly, you will get stuck with a thorn. So in the future, be careful with yourself and the choices you make with people who are not like you. These are the people who don’t share the same mind, the same drive, the same intentions, and the same hunger as you. Everybody is not going to be identical but at least headed in the same direction. I love the rose bush because, at the end of every season, a pruning process begins to get rid of whatever can stunt its future growth. In my conclusion, opposites attract, but it doesn’t mean they are supposed to be attached.
Pastor Tonya